Happy Birthday JamalyahBooBoo

Some of you worry me.

A part of my duties here at WLBG involve being the conductor of the orchestra we call our Morning Newsmagazine. It’s a fast paced format with a lot of things coming at you once……….at least from where I sit.

I coordinate Weather from WYFF 4 meteorologist Dale Gilbert, FOX News at the top and bottom of each hour, Sports with either John Avery or Gene Pinson or both, WLBG Local News with Emil Finley. On top of that I do Real Time Traffic at a quarter past and a quarter til each hour plus lottery updates and birthdays and anniversaries.

Sound simple enough? Well, did I tell you that it all has to be timed out precisely? Certain elements of the show MUST start at their appointed time. If something else is not quite finished and still playing then………well, it’s a mess.

Somehow it generally works well. Yeah, once in a while we have a catastrophe but so far we’ve been able to handle them pretty much in stride. The only thing that causes me to shake my head is…………… Birthdays.

No, it’s not because the speaker on our answering machine isn’t all that great and sometimes I have a hard time understanding folk. It’s not even because people name their poor children some pretty odd things. I’ve heard a couple names that I’m pretty sure is Arabic for ‘2 humped camel with bad breath’.

The thing that amazes and frustrates me?.................birthday fights. Okay, it goes like this: I get a message wanting me to wish little JamalyahBooBoo a happy 2nd birthday from her grandmother. I’m also asked to mention her daddy and aunts and uncles. No problem.

Then, 10 minutes later I get a call from the child’s mother. She wants to be added to the list of well wishers. I comply. The next time I read the birthday list I include ‘Mom’ on the list wishing JamalyahBooBoo a happy birthday. No problem? Yeah, that’s what you’d think.

The phones light up and Grandma is angry. She demands that I remove Mom from the list because SHE didn’t tell me to include Mom. Now, I’m not going to do that.

I will admit that there exists today some strange definitions of the word family. I will also admit that I don’t know what dynamics exist within this particular family. But I do know that if a lady calls me and asks that I include her, the child’s mother, in the birthday wishes for her 2 year old child………..I will.

Grandma is still screaming when I hang up. She keeps calling back. She wants to tell me all about how bad Mom is. She tells me that she, Grandma, is a Christian and then lets loose with a string of profanity.

Please. I don’t mind announcing birthdays. But, family fights? Naw, I'd rather not.

There, got that off my chest.